Are you tired of not finding the right couples to play with?
Traci Kanaan, aka the musical comedian known as The Dominatrix of Ditties is teaching "Are We Going To Fuck Or What" class at Naughty in Nawlins, the largest swinger hotel takeover party in the U.S. Traci was voted Top Female Entertainer for The Lifestyle in 2015, 2016, 2017, & 2018. She has performed her signature musical comedy show on swinger cruises, nudist resorts, and dungeons all over the world.
The kids have gone to college or are having kids of their own. You're close to retirement, and now you and your partner FINALLY have the time to catch up on all those sexy fantasies you've been dreaming about for years. Swinging seemed like such a great idea! You got a profile on a swinging website. You began getting emails and maybe even met a few couples...but things just aren't working the way you hoped.
The "swingers" you're chatting with online are either fakes or flakes.
You wasted hours of time chatting online with a lonely guy hoping to score, or a married guy trolling for couples without his wife's knowledge. When it came down to meeting you, they lost their nerve or never intended to meet you in the first place!
The "swingers" you meet online don't look anything like their pictures.
Many of the swingers online aren't comfortable with what they look like, so their either use photos of other people or post pictures of what they used to look like 10-20 years ago.
The "swingers" you met weren't ready to play.
Newbie swingers often think everyone on a swinging site is ready to play, but the truth is some "swingers" are just "seeing what's out there," and wasted your time in the process.
The "swingers" you met were DRAMA.
That hot couple you were hoping to play with ended up being a hot mess because one of them wants to play and the other is not ready at all.
The "swingers" you want to play with are "out of your league."
You talk yourselves out of meeting the right couples for you, because you don't have the confidence to approach someone you think is better looking, fitter, or not the same age as you.
You ended up "taking one for the team!"
There is nothing worse than being pushed into having sex with someone who wasn't right for you, because you didn't want to be rude and hurt the feelings of the other couple or your partner. .
So where does all that leave you?
You're feeling frustrated because you invested a lot of time on someone who wasn't real!
You're feeling upset because you wasted time and money on someone who misrepresented themselves to you.
You're disappointed because you were hoping to have an exciting, new experience with a hot couple and it ended up being another night with your partner.
You're upset because you had a horrible experience, because the other couple was not there for the same reasons you were.
You're fighting with your partner because someone had sex with someone they didn't want to have sex with!
Swinging is expensive!
Do you want to keep spending money buying drinks until the other couple looks like their pictures? Keep spending money on expensive outfits, memberships, sitters, and hotel rooms only to get stood up?
You end up wasting more of your time!
Do you want to keep wasting time on couples that aren't right for you? Do you want to keep wasting time on couples that aren't ready to play: Do you want to keep wasting time on couples that don't exist?
Your relationship continues to suffer!
Do you want to continue jeopardizing your existing relationship, your self esteem, and your ego on people that either won't give you the time of day or don't exist? Do you want to keep taking one for the team?
The good news? There's a better way!
Save hundreds of dollars by not having to buy drinks until the other couple looks like their pictures! You'll stop wasting thousands of dollars on swing club memberships, hotels, and babysitters for couples that don't show or cancel last minute. You'll stop wasting your precious time chatting with the wrong couples for you. Your relationship will grow stronger, along with your confidence and self esteem. Most importantly...
Meet the right couples for you!
...even if you think you're not handsome or pretty enough.
Not all swingers are "Barbies" and "Kens." There are a lot of swingers that aren't "perfect" and they are looking for couples just like you!
...even if you think you're too old.
Most swingers are in their 40s-70s. Their kids are off to college, and now it's time to fulfill all those fantasies.
...even if you're not "in shape."
While many swingers spend some time at the gym, not all of them do! Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes, and now it's time to discover your flavor of sexy!
...even if you're introverted!
Not all swingers are extroverts! Many swingers are introverts, and my system will help you find them even if you're shy.
Traci performing with the legendary Gallagher in 2015.
Traci with Porn Legend Ron Jeremy at Vegas Exchange 2016.
Who am I...
and how do I know this?
Hi, I'm Traci, and I was once in your 4" heels...err...shoes...wondering why I wasn't getting everything out of "The Lifestyle" I should be.
I got into "The Lifestyle" quite by accident, when my husband and I decided to vacation at a clothing optional resort in Mexico. We were there 2 hours, when a guy approached us to “play" with him and his wife. He kept asking us to "play" with him and his wife. When we finally relented, what ended up as a great experience for me ended up being a horrific experience for my husband, as his wife had no interested in having sex at all! We later discovered the guy's wife was only playing to keep the peace at home. My husband was so devastated that I spent the rest of the week trying to save our marriage, because he felt rejected and unwanted. We realized then that "he" was a "predator-type" swinger, and his wife was just "playing along" to keep their marriage going. What turned out to be a relaxing vacation nearly ended in our divorce!
Our next encounter was with a seemingly nice couple. What we didn’t know, was that they had a fight prior to our first "full swap" encounter with them. The wife decided to use my husband to make her husband jealous. It made for an awful night, that left me in a depressive funk for months afterwards because I had been rejected and dismissed.
Our next swinging encounter was with another couple, and everything was great until each one of them "fell in love" with us. They were unhappy in their own marriage, so they began working to split us up. We had to sever that relationship in order to save our marriage, once again.
Our next encounter was with a couple that was all down to play with us. They were a great experience...until they never talked to us again. A few weeks later, we asked why they were so stand offish, and they admitted that they only want people they haven't fucked before.
The whole time, I kept hearing from seasoned swingers how amazing "The Lifestyle" was, but each encounter created personal emotional turmoil and tremendous stress on our marriage. Was it them? Was it us? Where were things going wrong? I started taking careful notes on everyone we met. I began breaking down what was working and what wasn't. I casually interviewed hundreds of swingers from all walks of life to see what worked for them and heard their horror stories. It turns out I wasn't alone! I began collecting their helpful tips and tricks and assembling them for myself and my husband.
I created a collection of etiquette and techniques that seemed helpful, and our "swinging success rate" went from 99.7% failure to 99.7% success!
I then used this information to create a complete system to help myself and my husband really enjoy what "The Lifestyle" was all about. It helped us get honest about what each of us wanted to experience, so we could create a swinging atmosphere that was healthy and positive. Most importantly, we had a set of working guidelines so we could quickly and easily eliminate "the duds" so we only played with “the studs!"
And now…my system is available to you!
Save yourself from potentially embarrassing situations that could jeopardize your marriage or your job.
In swinging, you are literally, putting yourself "out there." I learned several ways to help you address how to avoid the shame and embarrassment of getting stood up, of sitting in the corner by yourself when everyone else around you is having a good time, and how to protect you and your partner from swingers that could potentially ruin your job and your relationship. Instead, you'll be having the time of your life with people who will truly appreciate you and all that you and your partner have to offer.
Learn how to be the "IT" couple.
Learn how to effortlessly make yourselves irresistible to other couples!
Meet the most amazing people.
You're about to meet some of the best people you've ever met in your LIFE
Get the most out of "The Lifestyle"
Learn hundreds of tips and tricks to get the best "bangs" for your bucks!
No more DRAMA!!
Learn 6 ways to graciously remove yourself from any situation, and still be liked!
Here is What Our
"Upside Down Pineapple Club" Members" Have To Say...
Straight-forward, no bullsh*t, and spot-on. Traci, your 5 Magic Questions saved us a ton of time and money! Before you, we met okay couples with mixed experiences. Now we meet awesome couples that want to experience The Lifestyle the same way we do. Traci, thank you for being you!
Craig & Linda
"Traci’s advice in how to meet quality couples was spot on. Once we changed our profile, we were meeting the perfect couples for us! It’s been nothing but hot and sexiness ever since!"
John & Lisa
I wish I had this when I started swinging! We've wasted so much money trying to meet couples that weren't right for us. We learned so much, and Traci covers it quickly and thoroughly.
Ken & Jen
"My wife and I have been in The Lifestyle for 20 years. Our experiences in The Lifestyle were about 40% successful. Once we became members of The Upside Down Pineapple Club, our success rate shot to 98%. We stopped wasting our time on couples that didn't have their shit together, and started focusing our efforts on the couples that wanted the same things we did." It's made ALL the difference!
Michelle & Todd
We've been swinging for years, but the game is changing. With TSOSS we found a way to turn our horrific "one night stands" into finding the right couples for us. Now we're making lifelong friends with some of the most incredible couples we've ever met!
Mike & Barb
My husband wanted to swing but I wasn't ready. Traci helped educate us on how swinging really works, and then helped me work through my insecurities. We waited until we met the right couple thanks to Traci's advice, and now we're having the fucking best time!
Edith & Fred
So are you ready to have
the best "fucking" time of your life?
Nobody likes wasting their time meeting people that aren't right for you. Fortunately, you found "The Upside Down Pineapple Club," which will save you hours of time in wasted emails and text messages, and wasted money on drinks for a booty call that's going nowhere. You'll learn to spot the signs so you can proceed with Closing Like a Pro Ho (Chapter 7) or when to Fuck It Or Duck It (Chapter 6).
You want to fuck more swingers in less time, and The Upside Down Pineapple Club does just that. It's the most comprehensive course on Swinging you'll ever find, with straight forward information and not having to sit through hours of podcasts hoping to get the answers you want.
Here's what you'll get
The Top Secrets of Successful Swingers includes 11+ hours of instruction and insider tips from the #1 Female Entertainer in The Lifestyle! Learn all this and more...
The History of Swinging, and Terminology - the foundation you need to understand how Swinging came about, and the vocabulary you need to know so you don't look like a total newbie!
Myths and Misconceptions About The Lifestyle - get the facts straight about swinging from someone who studied and lives The Lifestyle
The Reasons Why People Choose To Be In The Lifestyle - and a lot of times it has NOTHING to do with sex!
Slut Shopping Tips! Where are all the sexy swingers at? - Learn where the real swingers are, and how to attract them.
Presenting Your "Package" - Whether you're extroverted or an introverted, learn 5 things you can do to make yourself approachable.
Fuck It? or Duck It? - Learn the 5 Magic Questions so you can determine couples are worth asking to play, and which couples are to be avoided at all costs.
The Chocolate Room - The #1 Fetish is Interracial Sex. Learn from 3 Chocolate Room guys what they love about their role in The Lifestyle.
DeFlower and Shower, and Fuck Ups - Learn 5 ways to get the most out of your play dates, and how to graciously remove you and or your partner from an encounter that is starting to go south.
STDs - a frank discussion about a taboo topic in the lifestyle, taught by a Pharmacist and Osteopath, who partially paid his way through medical school filming porn.
BDSM and 50 Shades of WTF Did I Just See? - The dungeon is a popular room at swinger events, but the rules and etiquette are very different. Don't be embarrassed! This quick primer will have you appreciating what takes place in the dungeon.
Reconciling Your Faith With The Lifestyle - You were raised in a religion that frowns upon extra-marital sex. Learn what a retired minister who enjoys The Lifestyle has to say about the history of monogamy and the church.
Get "Top Secrets of Successful Swingers" today!
Get everything mentioned above, including these bonuses below:
A List of The Best Places to Meet Swingers
Enjoy a listing of Swing Clubs, Resorts, Swinger Vacations, and Lifestyle Friendly Travel Agents
Discover the best Websites and Apps
So many websites and apps for swingers don't do anything for you. Learn which ones work!
A List of The Best Lifestyle Retailers
I know the owners, and I know they'll take care of YOU! Enjoy shopping from our list of preferred vendors.
A Collection of HILARIOUS Lifestyle Videos
I scoured the internet, and found the funniest videos about "The Lifestyle." Enjoy the HAHA!
Life Time Access - No Recurring Fees
100% Privacy. We Will Never Spam You!
Top Secrets of Successful Swingers
Learn about "The Lifestyle" from the comfort of your home. Save yourself potentially thousands of dollars in learning what you need to know before you go!
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When you consider everything
Top Secrets of Successful Swingers has to offer...
...it's really a no-brainer. The price is a fraction of what you'll spend at a swing club, a swinger cruise, or dinner and drinks for that couple you met online. But if you're okay with wasting your time meeting the wrong couples, and spending those long car rides home arguing with your significant other because things didn't go as planned, spending hundreds of dollars on drinks and membership fees just so you can meet the wrong couples...then don't do anything. Keep doing what you're doing because Hey! Even a blind squirrel gets some nut once in awhile! But the nuts you find may not be the nuts you want!
If you're ready to start having a great time and get EVERYTHING out of The Lifestyle that you want, rest assured your investment in this program is covered, because...
YOU ARE PROTECTED BY MY
30 DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
If you are not satisfied for any reason, I will refund your investment. No questions asked! Your purchase is risk-free!
President, Stand Up Eight, Inc dba Top Secrets of Successful Swingers